Love and knowledge. These are what I seek. Especially love. If you are looking to this blog for relationship advice, here it is: “The most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself”. Heal and nurture that one relationship, and the rest of your life will heal. Life gets better from here.
This blog is about expanding love and discovering your own magnificence. My insights come from my own endeavor for self love and well-being. Your journey will be unique to you, and I encourage you to embark. In doing so you will find the thriving you so desire – physically, mentally and spiritually. The way to thrive is to grow your love.
Most of us grow up in an environment that does not promote self love. We learn things backward. We learn that we are valuable and worthy only after we prove ourself. We grow up believing that our value comes from our accomplishments; from things outside ourself. In school we are judged, not only by our peers, but by the whole system. We are assigned grades based on our performance in absorbing and repeating the curriculum. The system puts us in value categories: “A” student, “B” student and so on. We acquire labels like “popular”, “unpopular”, “pretty”, “ugly”, “smart”, “stupid”, and we accept these labels rather than questioning them. Our well-meaning parents are generally in agreement with this culture. We learn by default that we will be worthy of happiness only after we get the grade, or the job, or degree, or income, lover, house, car, body shape, relationship, or whatever. We spend a great amount of energy fulfilling other’s wants and ignoring our own. We essentially learn that happiness comes from outside, not inside.
Self love IS the accomplishment. Once you set in motion the desire to love and appreciate yourself, everything else you want in life becomes more accessible. You discover new ways to care for yourself. You begin to convince yourself that you are worthy of the life you want and allow yourself to accomplish things that bring you joy. Your energy and creativity expands. You realize you are the master of your life, and your power resides in the degree to which you know your own goodness, worthiness, beauty and intelligence.
When it comes to living a joyful life we often hear “Its an inside job”. But what the heck does that mean? How do I get the job? And what is my position in this work? How much will I earn? Where do I begin?
There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
“I feel this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong.”
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What’s right for you–just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.”
― Shel Silverstein
Everything you want is already inside you – all your answers, all your well-being, all your peace, all your success, all your prosperity, all your joy, all your love – they already exist in you. When you take steps to get to know yourself and learn to listen to the voice inside, you find the clarity you seek. The depth of your beauty, brilliance, and greatness becomes certain to you. There is a greater sense of ease and okay-ness more of the time.
Growing self love is not selfless – it is self-focused – and is THE most generous gift you can give the world.
Self love is a practice, which means, like anything you want to get good at, you have to practice. It begins with awareness – awareness of how you see yourself, of the habitual thought processes you have acquired about yourself. You ARE your physical body and thinking mind, but there is a bit more to you. You are the consciousness that is aware you have a body and thinking mind. YOU are the part that is willing to observe and question your thoughts. Most thinking involves repetitive, habitual thoughts or thought patterns (beliefs) that you pick up along the way starting from childhood. By default, your life unfolds based on those learned beliefs. YOU are the consciousness that can take a step back and see how you’ve created your life. While there are many thoughts and beliefs that support your well-being, self love involves freeing yourself from thought patterns that do not serve you. By first becoming aware, then practicing changes in thought process, you can stop believing in barriers and begin to grow beliefs that generate thriving. Meditation is how you grow that awareness.
I’m not sure we can really “define” love with words, but here are some definitions of “love” from Dictionary.com:
- a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
- a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
- sexual passion or desire.
- a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
Notice how the dictionary definitions involve feelings of love for another.
My description includes love as both feeling and behavior:
- Appreciation
- Trust
- Compassion
- Kindness
- Respect
- Forgiveness
- Acceptance
- Mindfulness
- Presence
A body in a state of love relaxes, heals, repairs, and thrives. When you are experiencing love (or appreciation or gratitude or fun or laughter or joy or serenity or awe or inspiration) your immune system is strengthening and your energy is increasing. The more often you are in a state of love, the faster this process occurs. It doesn’t matter what you are using as your object of love or appreciation – your pet, a family member, a sunset, or the magnificent meal you just prepared. Just practice feeling those positive emotions more frequently. Seek and find ways to feel good. Just like muscle strengthening, the more you practice, the easier it gets.
Everything you desire from this life experience resides in loving and appreciating the person that is you. You are the most important person in your life and your relationship with yourself defines all other relationships. As you learn to love yourself, you begin to realize your tremendous power in shaping how you see yourself and the world. You feel connected, not separate, and your love for others and relationships will evolve in wonderful and unexpected ways.
Grow Your Love 