Purpose

Everyone talks about purpose. It’s natural to want our life to have meaning and purpose. After all, here we are on this rock, hurling through space at 67,000 miles per hour while spinning at approximately 1000 miles per hour. Wait, what? Is that even real? WTF is the purpose of that? Of me? Of anything?

I don’t claim to have the answers. But I’d like to believe I have purpose – that my existence it not completely meaningless and for no good reason other than I randomly showed up 13.8 billion years after the Big Bang.

Over many years of studying science and spirituality, I’ve come to believe the purpose of our existence is love. To love, to be loved, to learn to love more fully, to grow love, to be love.

Our body’s physiology is extremely responsive to our thoughts and emotions. When we are in a state of fear our body responds by producing adrenaline and cortisol. This physiologic state doesn’t support well-being long-term, but it sure does the job short-term when we need to fight, freeze, or flee to survive.

On the other hand, when we are in a state of loving, our bodies produce dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, which all feel great and support thriving. I don’t think anyone will disagree that love feels great! Other positive feelings such as appreciation, enthusiasm, warm-heartedness and joy have the same positive effects on our wellness. The more often we are in these positive states, the more well-being we experience.

So it is my chosen belief that we are here to love and share that love.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family that didn’t try to force me into any particular career or path. I was allowed to discover my own path – to go to college or not – to be whatever I wanted. I was encouraged to follow my bliss and was trusted to go my own direction.

I ended up in the fitness business – doing group exercise, private fitness training, and teaching anatomy and biomechanics at the university level. This has been an extremely fulfilling career for the last 35 years. My knowledge and the way I operate in my work have expanded and evolved over these decades.

When I started my fitness practice I saw my work as a way to “help” or “change” people by designing workouts and healthy eating programs. This was very satisfying when my clients or students would “comply” and get results. But when my programs didn’t work, it was frustrating for both client and myself. My client would feel like a failure and I’d feel like a fraud.

As time went by I realized that I can’t fix people. Most clients just want an expert to guide them as they embark on their fitness journey. I learned that my work is most effective when I encourage my clients without judgment. Now that I understand that I cannot fix or change another, I go into a training relationship with a different mindset.

My aim is to be on my client’s side no matter what. To be with them thorough the ups and downs of making hard changes without shaming along the way. To allow them to choose what is right and not force them into a way of being that doesn’t fit. To offer positive and encouraging guidance even when they don’t do what I prescribe. To not give up on them just because they are not perfect. Essentially, loving them unconditionally.

We all have the capacity to love. It doesn’t matter how you grow and give your love. The artist creates art. The musician creates music. The teacher shares knowledge. The engineer evolves technology. The parent cares for child. The farmer grows food. The trash collector keeps trash off our streets. The hair stylist helps us feel beautiful. These are all forms of sharing love. Whatever you do, make a conscious choice to do it from a position of love.

Love is in our DNA and hardwired into our neural network. Love supports the propagation and thriving of the species. Evolution promotes love and love promotes evolution. Everyone and everything benefits from love.

You might think that lovingness is an altruistic or selfless way of being, but it’s not. The one who will benefit most is you, the lover. Love will heal you.